7 March 1957

A good person who is blind to the ways of human motivation lets himself in for unhappy disillusionment. For instance, if Eisenhower is a truly dedicated person with his heart truly in the right place, but blind to the politics around him – he is bound to be disillusioned and hurt whenever his most honest intentions are deliberately twisted away from his intent.

You have to be aware of the rogue within you – that is the potential beast within each one of us to understand the rogue in others.

It isn’t that people in glass houses should not throw stones; the fact is people who live in glass houses are often the very first ones to cast those same stones.

One must understand evil, the possibilities of evil, in order to recognize evil. With understanding comes the ability to cope better with an evil situation.

Why, it is so simple really.

Still the best intentioned person in the world is absolutely ineffective unless he has her she has a comprehension of the simple facts.

Talk about the temptation of St. Anthony! I started to think – I never actually read the temptation of St. Anthony – that I knew it only by title, but that isn’t true. I did read a long time ago, during my early growing years. I don’t remember what the contents of the book was, I only remember the title – but I did read this book.

What brought all this thinking about this morning? The extra postage stamps the clerk at the drugstore handed me and some strong sensual feelings I didn’t share with Kurt because I told myself he would not be interested. He was fast asleep, and I made myself believe he needed the sleep after staying up late to see Shaw’s “The Millionaires” at Eldred Hall last night – and that he had to work all day with little sleep.

The thought his father to the deed. Conscientious people drive themselves silly because they think the thought is the deed. The actual reality has often nothing to do with it in “fait accompli” or however you say it.

The saying goes “it takes a thief to catch a thief”. It also takes a kindly understanding heart to catch a kindly understanding heart.

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Men, running a so-called “man’s” world, are under the mistaken conception that the sacrifices men make are the only sacrifices of real value.

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If there were real value there would be no sacrifice!! What kid ever felt a feeling of sacrifice when spending a penny earned, for a treasured toy or desired possession, if the child followed a natural unpolluted bent?

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It is only when clean fresh streams are polluted with disease carrying particles that people hesitate to swim in them for fear of infections.

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The aristocrat of the breakfast table: Billy was doing a lot of yakking about us “peasants” this morning. Crumbs! Peasants! He recrimination in his ham – did I say “ham” acting. I labeled him “royalty” and he rejected the word anarchist – giving me a definition of the word. He had it down pat. No! – He was an “aristocrat” – very special!!

“Yah!” said I, “Just like Marie Antoinette and you know what happened to her. She said ‘They have no bread? Let them eat cake!’ and the guillotine came down on her head – CHOP!”

The only trouble with me as I do too much talking!!!! My whole – family complains to me – I talk too much!! Not for five minutes do I SHADDUPH!

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From Lowell Thomas Junior’s Lenten guidepost:

Peace be in my home

And in my heart

Or if thou roam

Earth’s highways wide,

The Lord be at thy side,

To bless and guide

Earth’s highways wide.

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In my peaceful home I want the help of the power that created me. I also found my husband a great comfort and my children a necessary ingredient for making life a living thing.

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How nice it was for Mark Schinner’s [sp?] daughter to have a backyard for hoot for her to bring her friends into. How nice of Mark Schinner not to mind about the lawn. Golly – too bad all youngsters don’t have nice backyards.

But there are always playgrounds. I had a big backyard – but no friends in it much. That’s why I liked the Memorial school playground so much better. There was more to do.

 

6 March 1957

The breakfast table chairs were decorated with the dazzle of white shirts and ties this morning – Kurt, Billy, and Nancy.

Of course, Kurt often wears a white shirt. But Billy and Nancy were all slicked up [too] for Honor Roll assembly at Collinwood this morning first and second period. Nancy wore her ruffled carioca blouse that Francis Klein gave her for Christmas, and Bill for the first time wore his Christmas tie from Timmy and Greg. Bill commented he thought he’d give Miss Axline a break. (He meant walk into the library this afternoon with a tie on. He wasn’t quite sure the head librarian would stand the shock of seeing her library page saunter up dressed up with soup and fish!)

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Seems at the rehearsal yesterday Nancy did not understand she was to come up on stage when her name was called. She thought her name was being called to see if she were present. She kept raising her hand higher and higher, until the caller said, “We want you up here.”

Billy kidded her when he saw her at home. “How shall I face my friends!!” he exaggerated, mimicking!

Oh! Kids!

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Gary Moore (Lenten Guides, P. D.)

Quotes a Chinese wisdom: “The enemy is best defeated who is defeated with kindness.”

He goes on to say kindness isn’t softness. If it is it doesn’t cure anything at all. Tells the story of Ling making slurring remarks about Wong’s restaurant. Wong says: “Oh, I’m sure you must have misunderstood. Wong couldn’t possibly have said that. He’s too genuinely kind.”

Ling Toy was flabbergasted when he heard about this. Ling meant to be slurring. Ling could not stand up to Wong’s policy very long. – The two became friends.

Wong showed Gary Moore, back in the kitchen, a Chinese motto which hung there for Wong to see every day: ”The enemy is best defeated who is defeated with kindness.”

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Oh yes! I almost forgot there was something else I meant to enter here – it is about Roman Catholic “confessional booths”.

Confession is good for the soul – this is true. But when the confessional booth is a private matter for the church only, to propagate its own power primarily – it is certainly questionable. The other Christian denominations who do not have confessional booths picking up gossip, rather having ministers who talk with people to guide them as best they can in their sorrows are at a disadvantage.

How to combat this?

Through letters to newspapers. This type of confessional – people’s problems of everyday life and thus be released, aired, and acted upon in the form of public opinion; and something can then be done to improve the lot of all humans regardless of race, color, or creed.

So long as the Roman Catholic confessional box is the only form of release, under the power of that church, it does not serve all. In fact – it is most unchristian, undemocratic and unhuman.

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With the help of my creator, and with the wisdom given me, I do what I can see to do. That’s all anyone can do

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After seeing Walt Disney’s program tonight these conclusions: (it was a program on the story of flight)

In a way the Chinese of years ago – the civilization that Marco Polo found – was a wise civilization – they forbade certain types of invention. Where the Chinese erred, however, was evident in this fashion: they didn’t better the lot of humans in their country.

The Chinese walled off their civilization, while forbidding certain types of knowledge. For instance – they knew of wine, but wine drinking was forbidden, etc. The fact remains, however, China was only a part of our world. As the rest of the world built boats and ventured forth – China remained within its walls. One cannot stem the surging tide of the world of communication and transportation closing in on us. As I watched the story of flight, my conversation with Helen Little this afternoon came back to me.

The world is shrunk so much since aviation, telegraphy, TV, etc. has so rapidly grown, it is no wonder we have so much mental illness. The industrial revolution, communication, transportation, flight has brought men, as I write to McDermott, into every “corner” of the world. Now we want to reach out into the “heavens” – man’s little old mythological, religious, superstitious “heaven”. Science has moved along so rapidly we just seem to have been lifted into the air personality-wise and we poor humans are bumping along personality-wise like the bumpy cross-country cartoons depicted by Walt Disney in his flight story on TV. No wonder human beings have lost their bearings. The pace of the last 100 years has been stepped up so much by invention, science, and mass production that maybe airplanes hold together but man is falling apart mentally.

As I watched Disney tonight I realized even more acutely that we of a generation of yesterday have been living, and will continue to live through tremendous, fast-paced, revolutionary upheavals caused by inventions and mass production.

That we become dizzy and off-center with all this speed of change, there is no doubt about. Our scientists must be directed to the feeling human. Enough of all this invention! It perhaps should not be stopped. Let it go on, but for the love of man’s welfare, it is absolutely urgently necessary to channel some of this brain matter into the human mind for equilibrium. Mental hygiene, social psychology, and social sciences are the tortuous pleading need of our era – an understanding of what is happening to us.

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The young, bless the young, they are growing up with all this. Maybe it will be easier for them, maybe not. If this pace of science and invention carries through our new generation’s lives, we may still end up as a race of mumbling idiotic humans, counting our toes – back to the caveman of millions of years ago.

I am so glad our educational institutions are recognizing the terrific need for the social sciences because they will be humanity’s salvation.

5 March 1957

Oh! So much as happened these last few weeks, I sure have neglected my notebook – but, the [Cleveland] Plain Dealer [newspaper] is writing beautifully. I don’t have to worry about people so much anymore. Mass psychoanalysis – that’s what it is – mass psychoanalysis. Very good for the soul!!

I wish I had more time to relate some of my family events, but letters, letters, and reading have been taking up so much of my time. Contributing my little vote, I tell Kurt.

. . . Last night Nancy informed me the gals at school are buying Cody’s fruit flavored lipsticks at $1.⁰⁰ a crack! They can’t eat candy at school, so they buy this little hunk of candy lipstick for the outrageous price of $1.⁰⁰.

One of the girls, according to Nancy, fairly eats the lipstick when she gets hungry! Wow! I told Nancy it was an expensive little piece of candy. Why didn’t they make chocolate flavored Kleenex, or orange flavored shoes! Nothing like having the kids coming home barefoot after dad shells out up to $14⁰⁰ for a pair of shoes.

I also told her, if the lipstick tasted so good, a gal would never know whether her best heart interest was kissing her because he loved her, or because he didn’t have the price of a hamburger!

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3 March 1957

My family is giving me a hard time! I talk too much on serious subjects. They don’t like it! So – – – back to my notebook – my dear notebooks which let me go on and on and on as long as there are pages and ink. I guess writing is my principal out. I can write what I wish, if not for publication – to release my own thoughts. Such is my fate – to channel my thoughts – to release them on paper – there is nothing else to do.

Attached is an article on the garden show houses – architects with bubble pipes. Some architect – first he dreams up the house – then to find a location on which to build it.

An article my friend, when you learn to write about bubble headed architects who do not deal with the present and what they have – but dream up bubble pipe homes to place – Oh! Yes – no location discovered yet!!

I wonder if there is a code of ethics for architects as there is a code of ethics for lawyers?

House beautiful magazines, too, that make you sick with frustration. The fairytale story tellers of the adult world! – No sense of reality. Escapists all! Just like me – into my notebook with my pen and ink!!!

Also – fathers that go hunting to beagle clubs, church, golf, but who have no time for the boys – girls.

Also – fathers and mothers who spend all their time working for the money tree and buy their kids off and pay the price for the disregard of the responsibilities of parenthood – the Simcics and that the Dodaras – Harold Schrader, Victor, and Stephen.

Just want to scream the truth to them about themselves! Maybe someday I will learn to simmer down and write, really learn how to write! I am over the worst feverishness, but I’m still not completely recovered enough to calm down enough to learn the exacting art of writing!

Man alive, will I ever simmer down to that stage of careful craftsmanship?! I hope!

2 March 1957

These past days have been busy, almost a delirium of activity. The Plain Dealer has been writing splendid reportorial work. The Cleveland Press is still a snarling rag!

My P. D. Was just delivered by Stanley – will write more later, especially about Janie E. Oster and Dunham school and melting pots and Ida Dennis and Mark Schinnerer and Paul Pokhorny and Mrs. Carmen – State Board members of the Ohio State Board of Education.

Later –

Well, after reading my P. D. – The world is in better shape than ever, and, I believe I can go back to this little series of notebooks and my scribblings.

Most interesting to me for the moment to write about this morning is Nancy and Mrs. Smythe – her art teacher.

Mrs. Smythe has been giving Nancy one hell of a time these first few weeks of the semester. Nancy was elected class president and Mrs. Smythe has made a sorry role for Nancy. She’s yelled at Nancy, been unreasonable with her, told Nancy she was no damn good as a president, the class needed a new president, helped Nancy not at all, until Nancy came home and wept with sorrow, anger, and desperation.

Nancy and I have talked the situation over a few times, but the weeping session almost brought out Kurt’s big guns. We were all set to have Kurt give Mrs. Smythe the cool Zachmann going over if she didn’t lay off Nancy, our fine family artist.

I, however, kept hoping Nancy could carry her own ball, so that her victory, if it came, would be Nancy’s alone.

Yesterday afternoon Nancy told this story. Mrs. Smythe picked up a picture drawn by someone in Nancy’s class. Mrs. Smythe took a good look at it and was starting to say: “Why this is beautiful! Who drew this picture?”

Nancy said, “I did.”

After this announcement by Nancy, Nancy said Mrs. Smythe almost choked!

P.S. Nancy tells me Mrs. Smythe gave her two sheets of paper to draw a street scene on instead of all the other youngsters one sheet, as the class filed out of the art class.

Hello! Hum!!

That’s that for the present. Except this two sheets of paper to draw a street scene over the weekend was in lieu of a detention after school for being a bad student. The whole class was supposed to get this detention for talking.

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Zachmannisia just for the day: Cleveland is a melting pot of nationalities? Well – ll – l – let’s say the US is a bigger pot – not only of nationalities, but also of (religions). Maybe I should have written it smaller, like this ( world religions).

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I feel pretty good this morning!

28 February 1957

To McDermott

After reading your article “McDermott on Shaw”, is it possible that Shaw, with his peculiar Shavian wit meant something? Could it be that if Androcles and the Lion were translated by an expert calligrapher it would reveal some last message of Shaw’s to the world?

Included a copy of a discussion of “gladiators” from the Jr. Encyclopedia Britannica.

26 February 1957 [Notes from a Collinwood HS P.T.A. meeting?]

Schneider [sp? – Oscar J. Schneider was CHS school principal]:  Schools are for education & nothing else.

Get back at him!

Parents get report cards.

1) Clean & fittingly groomed kind of clothes – teenagers – blue jeans – party clothes are out.

2) School offers best opportunity for learning & team work. Socializing agency. Work & play with each other starts from the home. Making opportunities: to play his daughter back yard [?].

3) Good manners – more than form – simply kindness & consideration of others.

Excuse me is little good manners when you’ve knocked a person down. Better not to knock him down in the first place.

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4) Restraint – self restraint must be balanced by self discipline.

We need policeman because people have learned nothing of self restraint.

5) Respect for authority – should be taught by parents. Primary rules of behavior.

Policeman shoved [?] at ball games. Schneider [?] feels a sad commentary.

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6) Saturday Movies: coed lines at [?] Mental, emotional stability.

The child hardest to love is the one who needs it the most.
Policeman calls to tell about the Buick – Father asks, “Is my car damaged?”

7) Parental harmony – Nothing is so damaging as quarreling, fighting, fussing, nagging.

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Children have come to school and attempted suicide because of nagging homes & bickering.

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She said she was not a D.P. or a displaced person – She was legal!
Budapest – is beautiful. Between Danube – Buda – Pest.
Many universities – music and drinks.

She sings a song.

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Three blind mice. & [John J.] Pokorny spoke. Coordinator of Civil Defense, Cuyahoga County.

Hiroshima and Nagasaki 1945 – 12 years ago.
Russia 1950 had weapon. Civil Defense Law [obscure word] on state gov.

We are tired of wars – disasters – but must be realistic # prepared. Mayors and governors. U.S. Gov. – partner rather than a coach in Civil Defense. 20 M tons of TNT. 7 or 8 miles destroyed. Fallout. Radioactive fallout. Radar screens. VS shelters.

Concept of C.D. must change. Shelter and funds. Cities – 33. 60M people. 100 per person. Radio active fault [sic] – be where the bomb isn’t.

Radar – reinforce outer perimeter. C.D. Minimum levels and property. How much research is being done on effects of Radioactive fallout? How effective are other perimeter or radar screens?

24 February 1957

I do what is given to my own wisdom to do, no more.

That’s all anyone can do: release within one’s self the power to do good, as wisely as possible.

23 February 1957

(Dated 22 February 1957 in the notebook but almost certainly written the next day)

Ask Bill – and he named it – “The Story of the Prodigal Son”. I was thinking of [her friend] Blanche [Schwartz] and [her nephew] Stan. She has told me Stan has stayed with her – that he should inherit most of her money because of her closeness to him. This would be advisable only if she underpaid him. But she has given him stock, etc. If she has underpaid him and kept him from work he enjoyed doing – say civil engineering – he did join the See Bees [sic – the U.S. Navy Seabees is meant]. Then he should get the bulk of her money. But – if she pays him well and he really is not frustrated in his ambitions – she should treat her other 2 nephews as the father did his prodigal son.

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Met Miss Murray on McCauley today. She told me her brother and his wife – her sister-in-law, founded the Emmanuel Presbyterian Church. Small world – ain’t it?

I was going to Fishers [Food Market on Lake Shore Drive] with my little old grocery cart. She was walking ahead of me very, very slowly. She was a black figure, black coat, gray hair, on the slender side, obviously quite elderly, wearing a good black coat, a pair of tan nylons, and black rubber overshoes turned up high above her ankles.

I was walking rather quickly and passed her with my little cart. But there was something about her very, very slow walk. After passing her about 20 feet, I turned around to see what was causing her to walk so slowly. Once I showed my interest – she saw me looking at her – I stopped, then began walking toward her.

“Is there anything wrong?” I asked. “Are you looking for an address?”

“No,” she said, then a conversation between us started. I slowed my pace extremely to walk along with her.

The story?

“It’s my heart,” she said, “everybody has a heart these days.”

“Yes,” I laughed, “We all have hearts – just a question of what condition they are in.”

She told me she has coined so many phrases, she doesn’t know which one she’s coined, and which one she’s read. (I made some remark, prior to her comment, saying I didn’t know whether I read somewhere or whether it was one of my own coined phrases.)

She could’ve been 70 or so, who knows. She was a “Miss,” she said she wasn’t much of a housekeeper, but a homemaker. I told her “Housekeepers we can always get – but homemakers come at a very high premium.”

She knew the neighborhood only slightly. She lives a door or two from Elsie’s – but knows no one. Said she moved into the neighborhood in 1946. The house she lived in was either her family home or a home her brother and his wife originally owned. He had made it into a two or three family residence. He believed in making homes for young people. She lived in the house taking care of the tenants, I guess. Her brother was the businessman.

A very intelligent little lady, as keen as a bright shining gold piece.

After 15 or 20 minutes of conversation with her about her shopping problems, relatives who looked in on her from time to time, we went our separate ways she hates to impose on friends to carry heavy groceries upstairs – Modic (Market) delivers groceries, but if she ever sees me going up the street she said she’ll let me get a loaf of egg loaf bread for her from Fishers.

22 February 1957

Well, well! George Washington’s birthday, and I just sent Billy off to the library at Arlington Branch Library. This is the first day Billy works all day at the library. I fussed about him a bit until he almost lost patience with me until I told him, “After all this is the first day I have packed his lunch and sent him off to work!”

Mr. Carter called Wednesday afternoon. He wanted to know whether Nancy was still interested in the gardening job with him at Longfellow [School]. She is supposed to come in to see him before 4 P.M. at the Gardening Room at Memorial [School] to fill out her withholding tax form so he can put in her application.

Nancy is delighted. Bill tried to tell her she should be sure and get a good hourly rate. Nancy fired up at this. Secretly, I believe she would work for nothing, just for the job at the Gardens at Longfellow.

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