30 May 1958

30 May 1958 Truth hurts – it is very painful. One who has built up a structure of false values is hurt badly when truth tumbles his house of cards. If the learning process is not completely atrophied, time heals the hurt and one becomes a little more understanding as one learns to live with … Continue reading 30 May 1958

11 May 1958

11 May 1958 5 AM It’s still dark out but the birds are beginning to twitter. Noree Schmidt and I talked yesterday afternoon. I did not realize that while talking with her at the time, but something she said evidently stuck with me. It was this statement in an hour and a half’s conversation: “Christianity … Continue reading 11 May 1958

9 May 1958

9 May 1958 The needs human services and considerations that are purchased with money, because you have money, can never bring the satisfaction of soul that comes from the impulsive, nonprofit promptings of human kindness. An important or wealthy man may have people do kindly deeds for him, but he may never really be sure … Continue reading 9 May 1958

8 May 1958

8 May 1958 Kurt has just left. The puckered anal ring upon waking had me worried. The bowel movement was tight, finally explosive, with some blood at this late date. I cried with nervous jitters, wondering what was wrong now. Kurt tried to make me see the situation objectively, saying “Call the doctor if you … Continue reading 8 May 1958

7 May 1958

7 May 1958 Yesterday, I met Elizabeth Cardas over the telephone at noon time. It was a bitterly cold rainy day – too cold for my morning sitz bath. Besides, Kurt didn’t have the water hot enough. I was feeling like a forlorn orphan yesterday morning, rattling around upstairs with the house empty. Ricky [the … Continue reading 7 May 1958

6 May 1958

6 May 1958 From Readers’ Digest, November 1952: “Blessed are those who can give without remembering, and take without forgetting.” Elizabeth Bibesco “How many there are who give and remember forever – and how few there are who take, and remember the taking.”

5 May 1958

5 May 1958 God damn the pain, inflicted on human beings! After this god damn fissure operation, I’m no longer so resigned to “the wonderful balance of nature”. Nature, the creative force, what have you, may have a wonderful balance, but, nature or this life force can be devastating, cruel, ruthless, pain inflicting and destructive. … Continue reading 5 May 1958