14 January 1957

14 January 1957


That is an interesting word. What is Resentment? Somewhere in one of my other books it is called by another word: anger. The basis of anger is fear.

What then is fear?

Billy started working at the Arlington Library part time today.

Opportunity to share in the genius and managerial ability of the imaginative men in industry.

Business –

  • The Making of Money
  • Wall St. Wolves and Bad men
  • If you made money you just weren’t nice or honest.
  • Money Making – the Missing link.
  • The Romance of Commerce.
  • Mysterious Wall Street
  • I don’t want to be a poor Old Lady
  • The Richest Man in Babylon
  • I venture into Wall Street

Fundamentals of Good Exposition:

Generalization and Division

– The first requisite of good discourse is the bringing together of scattered particulars in one idea, and the second requisite is the division into parts of the explanation of the idea.

. . . Until a man knows the truth of the several particulars of which he is writing or speaking, as is able to defend them as they are, and having defined them until they no longer can be divided, he is unable to handle discourse according to the rules of art.

  • What is your own version of a view?
  • What are the real attitude of peoples in actual fact? And why?
  • To what do you want to change attitudes & for what purpose?

The Sharks of Wall Street –

The article could serve as purpose in helping people understand what trade and business is all about and why.

What can you do with a thousand dollars? You can’t go into business! Real estate –

Use your money wisely – invest in corporations who do worthwhile things. Believe in your product.

You, too, can be a corporate executive. Put yourself in his place. You may be a pigmy, but you too are management when you own shares in a corporation.

Commerce creates wealth.

I tip my hat to the Wolves of Wall Street.

Romance of Commerce.

Men’s character is not governed by arithmetic but by imagination.

The human mind is clogged with old worn-out threads of prejudice, of hypocrisy, of want, of inefficiency, dullness, snobbery, with the dust of a hundred undesirable things that mar the pattern of our thinking machines.

The head of a great business house must be a really capable man, otherwise its prestige weakens, and competitors who are everywhere wrest its position from it.

“Get off of your pedestal” or else reread “The Wonderful Way.”

It all started in after dinner discussion. Having taken care of life insurance, home, and government bonds to cover part of our two children’s college education, we still had little money saved – not as much is $1000 – which we did not know what to do with. Hoarding money for money sake seemed wrong to me. Previously there had always been a purpose: get a roof over our heads we can call our own. Got so in the habit of saving, from having to live alone and [unknown word] my way in a strange city – it had become a habit. Once $25 in the bank look like a lot, but now we were better off.

Too bad the investment idea hadn’t been spelled out to us more clearly in our younger years

Actually, we would have approached the whole field of life entirely differently had we known what we know now.

It’s a far cry from greenhorn to expert, but B. G. has planted the seed. We are working on it, and hope a harvest awaits us, if we nourish it and let it grow.


This morning found me reading my books on writing – the old standby. The artistic temperament as a writer as disciplined found me swearing violently. The outline of the writer’s temperament suited me to a miserable T the only thing is – I don’t write! At least not for publication. Upon second thought though, it occurred to me this was not true entirely – after all I have earned $40 in my lifetime even though the writing consisted of two prize letters on definite subject.

But dammit all! Dammit, all how old do I get before I find my stride, or do I end up being a frustrated old maid in so far as writing is concerned. If I were married to my supposed career all I would have to show for it after 46 years of living would be a stinky poem in a high school paper, to paid for letters for the local newspaper, sheaves of writing for a psychoanalyst, and a few scribbled notebooks.

Hardly anything that could be called a “writer” after 46 years!!

How do you launch a big lump of stupidity like me? Or am I just kidding myself with vain hopes that keep me alive from time to time? … The “I wish I could’ve been a writer” club. Maybe I should make a resolution: “No more free lunch counters for people who enjoy listening to me spout about my latest enthusiasm.” Instead, better I should write a story or an article about it and let my friends pay for it at the news counter. Maybe then I wouldn’t feel so cheated because of giving ideas out like I was a millionaire and when it takes a good deal of hassling with myself to get interesting things to do or learn about. Teachers, comedians, and actors get paid for their efforts. Unless I can channel my energy into acceptable writing I’ll never run anything but a free lunch counter.

Steve doesn’t bone us up on how he runs his business. Blanche wants me to work for her for free to learn her business. Maybe I should take a good look at the writing business. Even that you cannot learn for free unless you did out painfully and without much help from the books in the free libraries.

Story idea: Bernie Kadow – the romancer who cheated on his wife. How he called me up to hear all about me, but eventually wanted to see me alone! My womanly vanity – then sense prevails with Kurt’s help. What did Bernie Kadow really want? And he gets mean, too. A dozen kids! Harrumph!

Johnnie Andrews [?]: Who thought at 22 he was my ideal of 15. Who was willing to leave his wife and two children – not because he was so in love with me – but life palled a bit as an unsuccessful chiropractor. He just wanted a little of his all woman appeal redirected. The sentimentalist!

Bernie was such an egotist – such a failure really – he couldn’t possibly marry a woman with brains – she’d make him look too silly. Also – make him toe the line. An honest penetrating personality he could not stand.

Johnnie – the dancer who could dance with anyone – who had girls falling all over him – married and found marriage was very prosaic after the kingly role he played on the dance floor.

Tom? A truly mixed up person who never dared reach for life – a bystander who satisfied himself with abstractions rather than face life. He must’ve been badly hurt. The hurt worked him for the rest of his life? Who knows. He never did marry.

Sid the perfectionist – who wanted all womanhood and wisdom, beauty and class all rolled up in one woman – to raise his own high place in life. She also had to be completely under his domination. I wonder if he ever got married