12 November 1956
After a weekend at Alliance College with Kurt and Blanche, some interesting personality differences were raised in sharp relief. Kurt claimed I was reacting emotionally to Blanche’s dictatorial stand, rather than evaluating the situation as it really was. He commented, as he often does, that she was merely accustomed to compromise – I wasn’t – with the result I looked a bit foolish when I fought on the ground of principle.
This morning I suddenly laughed to myself.
Kurt is always talking about how he compromises and takes people as they are. I pointed out to him in a few words that in spite of this supposedly capacity on his part he was very critical of me when my opinions differed from his and that he refused to take me as I am. His comment was, “It is easy to give advice.” Yes,” I said, “particularly if you have a personal stake in it.” Blanche can be what she wants to be, do what she must do, live as she wishes to live – all that is agreeable to me. However, let her not think she can inflict upon me her views, her judgments, her wants, and her wishes and expect me to accept them for my own. I will accept what I wish to accept. And when she tries to jam her judgments unequivocally upon me – she is stepping on my toes leaving me no right to exercise personal choice. That I will not accept from her or anyone. Martyrs make dictators out of others. Compromise is well and good over trivialities, but not when basic fundamentals are involved.
And Blanche sure likes to have her own way with others. We all do – but we must know when to respect another’s opinion. She has very little regard for others’ opinions and is quite ruthless in her disregard. And quite oblivious to others when she wants something her way. I suspect she is also motivated by possessiveness (with regard to people), demanding, jealous, and unwilling to let her friends meet each other for fear they will like each other more than they like her.
I wonder what she is afraid of?
We cannot label anything as good or evil other than in relation to the particular circumstances of a particular person at a particular time.
“You will cease to trouble unduly about the opinions criticisms of others when you become conscious of the value of your own you will no longer permit yourself to be irritated or hurt by unpleasant persons when you find yourself close in armor of sublime independence. In short true peace will make you free.”
“People who believe that they have to carry all the burdens of their personal lives cannot find peace.”
“True humility means that you are humble towards the higher power of the spirit, but towards nothing else. You have to be submissive, reverent, and childlike towards divinity, or creation; but toward the world at large and towards humanity at large you may be as strong and as bold and as self-reliant as you wish yield yourself only to the higher power which secretly governs the world. And to your own self be true.”